I recently found a box of old papers, memorabilia and photos from LONG ago that my mom had saved for me. In there was a report card from Miss Owen’s, 5th grade class. In the comment section was “ Lacks self discipline”. This made me smile and reflect a little about what that meant and if it was true. But this label, lack of self discipline, also allowed me to make some crazy spontaneous decisions that I don’t regret like quitting my job and hitch hiking all around New Zealand for 6 months. But I also realize that this label has left an imprint on my sub conscious that feel like shame. I observed recently how the lack of self discipline is at the heart of who I am and I can embrace the good and the bad of this aspect of myself (thanks to my yoga practice for this insight). Self discipline around food choices has really been at the fore front of my mind as I try to make healthy choices and participating in the Endorphin Lifestyle challenge has helped me by joining this challenge and feeling the non competitive support of others.
I have been going to Sacred I Yoga since moving to Denver 3 years ago and was a little unsure about this Endorphin group changing my little neighborhood studio. But I was open to trying to challenge myself and add more strength training and cycle classes. I love being sweaty and working hard with a group and like most of you I generally try a lot harder than I think I can when I am in a group. I remember the first few classes looking around a kinesis class or a cycling class and my negative self talk taking over and saying ”I am too old for this” or “I am too fat for this” or, “these people could be my kids” etc. And then I would be encouraged by the teacher or another participant and let go of the negative self talk and re-‐focus. I still feel like dying in the HITT and cycle classes but I do what I can and try to get a bike near the AED device in case I have a heart attack. I leave all the classes feeling so great that I did my best and tried my hardest and I did not need the AED (so glad it is there though). The attributes I look for in a studio I feel I have found at Endorphin: great staff, convenience, a variety of classes and class times, and a supportive community. But of course my real motivation comes from being a mom to 3 daughters and my desire to be an example to them. I love that the increase strength I have gained allows me to feel strong enough to ski all day with my daughter or go backpacking and hiking. And as far as self discipline goes I now think of it as a muscle to be worked and tested in order to get stronger. So there you go Miss Owen: I embrace that label without shame and I continue to show up.